Supporters of the Ashley Treatment are making two critical errors in logic
Loving parents always know and do what is best for their children.
Anyone who has kids knows this one isn’t true. We have all done things for our children that we have later regretted. Many of us have done things we’re sure our kids will be discussing in therapy 20 years from now. Does this make us monsters? No, it makes us human.
As humans we are fallible. This is one reason we belong to communities. Communities give us input, subjective and objective. When we make decisions without the input of the communities to which we belong, they tend to be mistakes. Outside input is designed to make us think, to consider all the possibilities and outcomes. That does not mean that all input is given equal weight or that we need swing a certain way just because the majority says so. But the input is needed simply because we cannot possible consider everything by ourselves. The bigger the decision, the more input is needed. I tend to believe that permanently altering another human being is a pretty big decision.
I know for a fact that Ashley’s parents did not consult the disability community, of which, like it or not, Ashley is a member. This was not, however, their fault. I seriously doubt they even knew this community existed until Ashley’s story went public. This was a huge failure on the part of the disability community. We should have been there before any of this happened. We should have been there from the beginning, welcoming this family into ours, supporting them and giving them the disability perspective as soon as Ashley was born.
Instead, we waited. We waited until it was too late- until the treatment became public. Then we berated the parents for not looking for input from a community they couldn’t possibly have known existed! We berated them for not considering points of view and ideas they never knew to look for!
This is our mistake. Most cultures pass their identities down through their children. This is how cultures survive. Children with disabilities may not be biologically ours, but they are our children. They are the future of our culture. We must actively seek them out. This is not about “interfering in family’s privacy” or “usurping parental authority”. It is about our very survival! These children are our responsibility from the moment they are born. Not just after their stories go public.
Find out what the other error is in my next post.
